Christmas Crafts!

I really wish I had a picture to go with this item I actually read in a serious magazine (from the 1970s) Maybe I'll have to make one just to have pictures for next year:

Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.

EEEEEWWWW!

I think the point of blanching it is to remove as much of the hanging flesh as possible, but I could be wrong. My family always has a turkey for Christmas, so maybe I'll blanch the carcass (or make turkey stock as usual, but pull the carcass out before it has totally fallen apart)

Thanks to R. Simmons (not Richard!) for sharing this lovely magazine entry with me.

What Kind of Ridiculousness is This?

My furnished apartment is supposed to have a vacuum cleaner. I know this because every month they come and inspect it to make sure we keep it clean, and every month they complain that the floors haven't been vacuumed well enough. When we tell them that we don't have a vacuum because they took it away in July to "fix" it (personally, I don't think it was fixable so they threw it out)
Well, today they brought us a replacement vacuum. The "new" one isn't as old as the other (I'm pretty sure I've been around longer than this one), and it doesn't smoke when you turn it on, but as you can see, it is a total piece of crap. It kind of works, if you run it over the same spot about a dozen times, if you can move it at all with the dysfunctional wheels and missing handle. It is also missing the hose, which will make vacuuming out the sofa for the monthly checks problematic (although no more than having no vacuum at all).
This, and having no phone for more than two weeks (I'd like my money back) and the lies about what's being done about it (um, nothing?) and their failure to inform me they would boot my car if I didn't get a new parking sticker, isn't making me like the new management.
I know that all landlords suck, so I'm glad to be at BYU, where they require students to live in "BYU approved housing," or someplace that will require us to follow the BYU rules. In exchange the landlords are required to follow certain rules, and if they don't, we know who to call. No manager wants to get a call from BYU housing informing them they are close to having their approval revoked, which would mean their tennants could all move out and not owe them a dime. It's great motivation.
Unfortunately, the housing department doesn't have anything to say about vacuum cleaners, so we'll have to either make do with the crap they gave us, or go shopping for something better.